We’re at a wedding - celebrating a couple’s worst decision in life. I am quite lost in the crowd of obscure relatives and relative strangers.

It’s tiring to keep smiling and feigning familiarity with people you bump into only at weddings or funerals. So I try to enlighten my wife with some research on Steve Bucknor.

“Did you know he used to be a high school mathematics teacher?” I asked.

“I guess they expelled him because of his tendency to raise the finger for everything!”

She clearly wasn’t listening. “He was then a football referee who retired when the football federation lowered age limit of referees to 45! So he switched to cricket which has no age limit and where his eyesight after 100 tests started failing particularly against India!”

My wife ignored my googled gyan, gestured to a lady who resembled a mobile jewellery store and said, “She’s basking in the reflected glitter of her affluent neighbour’s diamonds!”

As I watched, the woman kept proudly admitting that her diamonds are borrowed from some Mrs. Bharadwaj. I wondered aloud why somebody would attend a wedding in borrowed glory. My wife explained that it’s not always because they don’t have enough jewellery or their neighbour has something better.

“Weddings are usually a small world where most women not only know each other but also know every detail of each other’s wardrobe and jewellery,” she pointed out.

“So if you’re wearing diamonds borrowed from a high profile neighbour or affluent friend like Mrs. Bharadwaj, the idea is to let the others know how close you’re to the Bhardawajs and take a secret, sadistic delight in the knowledge that the rest of the unfortunate women are just not in a position to borrow the same!”

Before I could recover from this revelation, my wife nudged me to look at three elderly women and said, “Those three are sisters who usually share the expense of a sari. So if a sari costs Rs 15,000, each would shell out Rs 5,000 and buy one sari for which they would stitch three blouses! And then they would take turns to wear the same sari with their respective blouses at three different weddings!”

Suddenly, the intricacies and intrigue of the India-Australia cricket series faded as I discovered weddings were just as much a game of deception and showmanship! I looked at my wife suspiciously and asked, “So who’s jewellery and sari are you wearing?”